A day of hearts..... 2nd entry
2007-02-14

A long time ago in a place not so far away there lived a guy, just an ordinary guy who was going through a tough period in his life. His marrige of way too many years was over, he was broke as could be. To make a bad situation worse, he was soon to lose his job. He was pretty depressed, just hanging on you know? Not a good situation.
Some where in this period he met a lady on line who thought like he did and that could make him laugh. She was smart, about his age, just about as broke. He could make her laugh back. They became friends. The only problem? He was an East Coaster and she a West. Three thousand miles, it might as well have been a million.
They talked on line every day and that moved one to phone calls when they could afford it. She was the one bright spot in his life. Over a period of months, they fell in love. They talked of marraige even though both had been burned badly and had serious reservations. It got pretty serious.
They talked of getting together and finally the very ordinary guy did something not so ordinary. He took the one non-maxed out charge cards and bought a flight out west. It was worth it right? She got cold feet and tried to talk him out of it. It was too soon, lots of reason why they should wait, but the die was cast. The tickets were non-refundable. So he got on a plane alone and hoped with all his heart that it would be fine and flew across the country.
He had no idea if she'd be waiting. she admitted later that she thought of not showing, but she did and he was releaved. They hugged and kissed and he told her he loved her and she didn't say it back. And that was that, three tousand miles and a pile more debt to get his heart broken and so it was.
Oh she was very nice to him while they were there. She showed him the sights, they laughed and held hands and had fun just like a real couple. But they weren't. Life goes on.
When it was time to go home, he did. He cried when he got on the plane. She cried too. He knew he'd never see her again and he never did. But he never forgot, some things you never do. They tried to stay friends. He wanted badly to stay friends, but you know how that goes. She said he wasn't an easy person to be friends with. Maybe he isn't.
She rationalized that it was better the way it worked out. Maybe it is, it probably is, but one can't help but wonder at times how life would have changed if she said yes. We'll never know. I'm not sure why I'm pondering all this stuff today. It seems kind of a strange time for it, but you can't control what you think. Maybe it is just a day for wondering. Happy Valentines Day. Where ever you are.

Previous - Next