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For these are the good old days.....
2006-01-31

I came home yesterday to find out that puppy, wonderful semi-well behaved puppy had eaten one of the W2s while M.E. was taking a nap... He also ate the receipt for Turb0tax and a few minor things, but the W2 was a big deal. I already had put the info into in the computer, but the paper copy would be required. In big companis replacements can take several weeks. Oh joy, oh joy... What to do.
I looked at the pieces and like the guy who built the six million dollar man thought, I can fix it. And so I did. I cut around the eaten sections and saved what I could, and then like an Italian mosaic artist, spliced and taped and managed to get two complete W2s from the six orignal ones. A couple of photocopies and I'll be in business. Engineer as artist. Who would have thunk it.
Special thanks to Princess Jennifer (Piehole) for fixing my template that I gaffed up trying to get my old archive stuff to work. She's even going to host a new picture for me so I'll be back as good as new. Not only does she rock, she also smells like baked goods. How cool is that? If she asks you to eat Pho though, just nod and then run like hell.
Bluperspex left me a note opining that things weren't probably worse now than they have been, that it just seems that way because it is the present. She thought some day I'd look back on this time as the good old days. I thought about this a bunch and decided she isn't right (no offense Blu...)

In my younger days you worried about things, but still had the feeling that no matter what happened, you eventually find a way through. I always knew the next best job was right around the corner. The manufacturing world was different then, and I was younger. Unfortunately, the times they are a changing
Now my age and experience work and pay scale work against me. The manufacturing base here in the Norteast is contracting at an alarming rate. More companies every day are moving out or just plain closing down. I've been through two major contractions and had three plants close out under me. Now I'm in a shaky position again.
At a time in life when I should be thinking of ways to stash money away for retirement, I now worry about staying working so I can keep the light on, the rooms warm and food in puppy's dish. Retirement is just a dream that at this point may never be reached. Do you want fries with that is not something you want to be saying at 65, although the grease will probably keep your skin wrinkle free if a bit zitty.
All the uncertainty causes stress, doubt, worry. There is a real chance that again a company I work for won't make it. It took me nine months to find my last job. Do you know what that takes out of you? Every day it eats at your self confidence a little more. Every day you become a little bit less of who you were. It's sad.
I'm an optimistic person by nature, I really am, but if you keep coming up tilt every time, it makes you wonder. It makes you doubt. Neither of those things is necessarily a good thing. I don't want to end up like the old dudes sitting at the end of the YC bar, hammered to the gills by 4 in the afternoon and complaining about life and it's injustices. All I want is a decent job at a decent wage and a bit, just a bit of security. That might be too much unfortunately.
I was always a star. I was always a top performer. My recent review says I still am I guess, but I know I could be on the street tomorrow and none of that matters. Everytime a couple of the senior partners get together behind closed doors, I get that pit in my stomach. Will there be bad news today? It is at the point where I almost expect it on a daily basis. It's a hard way to live. So I keep on plugging, getting through one day at a time. One day at a time.
Will these ever seem like the good old days. God I hope not because if they are, I'm not sure I can handle what would be alot worse. Today is the last day of January. If we can survive February, well, then it will be March. Something about that makes it a little better I guess. I Hope life is treating you well.
Happy Tuesday all,
me

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