Just a lot of hot air....
2005-05-04

The weather is finally starting to turn here in the northeast and you know what that means... Time to fire up the damn lawn mower... Blah...
I guess I may get out there today since I seem to be in an get things done kind of mood. I've already done laundry, dishes and cleaned the house a bit so mowing has to be next right? That, and planning a covert mission to dispose of my dead microwave in the YC dumpster... Now where did I put my black mask and gloves?
As you all know we now have a nice TV on the boat and as you may not know, on board M.E. hogs the clicker. It's OK I guess because at home I do. She is clicker impaired so I have good cause.
On the boat, with only 8 channels to choose from her attention deficit clicking disorder (ADCD) is not so apparent. Unfortunately, the 8 channel thing leads to painful eppisodes of TV wasteland like 0prah.
I am not an 0prah fan. Never have been and probably never will be. Granted she might be more interesting that Rosy O Fat, but not much OK. Please do not kill me, this is just one MANs opinion. I know I am not the prime target of these things so I'm sure for those of you who like that kind of stuff it is fine. It's just not my cup of teaa, OK?
Well yesterday they had this doctor on trying to tell us hopw to live a longer life. He made 0prah touch good intestines and bad intestines, good and bad livers and lung cancer. Oh and he talked alot about poop. Lots and lots about poop. That was OK. The best part though was when he said all men release gas 14 times a day and that it is normal. He also mentioned how often women release gas... Want to guess the number? Come on you know you want to...

Ok all you women who guessed less than five, wrong... Those who guessed less than 10, wrong again. The correct number is, tada 14. Digestion is digestion and you ladies fart as much as we do. Oh yeah, you blame it on the dog, or quietly sneak away, but the only difference between men and women in this area is we take credit and you try and look innocent. But now the truth is out. You could almost see the relief on 0prah's face and I was surprised that she didn't rip a big one right on TV.
Maybe she isn't so bad afterall? Nah...
Happy Hump day.
Ron

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