Night moves....
2005-02-04

Last night was just weird. I woke up in the middle of the night, like I often do for no apparent reason, but this time I had the distinct feeling that somebody was going to offer me a job today. It was a pretty strong feeling, I hope it is correct but I'm not betting the house on it.
Of course after that feeling passed, I spent the next hour or so awake tossing and turning and worrying about what would happen if it didn't come true and how bills were going to get paid and all that crap. BLAH....
While I was in that state someplace between sleep and almost sleep, Tia popped into my head and I have no idea why. Tia sailed with my big rival at the time lots of years ago and was a sweet kid. Here parents named her T1A Maria after the drink, kind of weird, but she was a good lady.
She was small but absolutely fearless on a boat and very sweet and just a joy to be around. We were never more than casual friends, but one of those people you always wanted to have around, you know?
Her boyfriend was and still is a putz. He cheated on her several times but they muddled though until she got sick. It was just tiredness and a low fever at first. Then we found out she had lukemia.
She went to this place in Texas that was supposed to be the best. Dorky boyfiened couldn't handle the strain and they split up. Nice timing jerk... The rest of us tried to fill in as best we could.
They put her on chemo and she came back to visit when she was well enough. On one of these vists she told me she always wanted to sail with me and me made a deal. She would get well and would take her sailing.
Every time she saw me after that she'd remind me of it and I made her promise to get better soon. I told her I'd even let her drive. This is not an honor bestowed lightly because there are few things I like better in the world than driving a sailboat with the wind in my face and the sound of the ocean hissing by.
She got better and then she didn't. They did a full radiation thing and then a bone marrow transplant. We prayed for it to take and it did, but her system was weak. A week later pneumonia set in. She she broke her promise and I never got to take her for that sail.
After all these years it still makes me sad to think about it. I hadn't thought about her in a long time so I wonder why she popped into my head last night. Maybe it is just my brain acting in it's usual normal/abnormal manner or maybe it is something more? I know she's in a good place. I never doubted that so maybe it was just her way of saying hi. I'll prefer to think that it is option B and not that I am any weirder than I already know I am. If it was option A, Hi Tia, I miss you.
And life goes on....

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