Newest��� Archives��� Guestbook��� Email��� Profile��� Dland

Good bye Mower Green
2004-08-16

The lawn tractor est morte. Yes I know it has been drinking a lot of oil lately, but I was hopeful it was just a binge thing and not a full blown addiction. I know it has seen better days and spent most of it's life semi-homeless living outdoors under a blue plastic tarp, but I never figured it would bite the big one. Who knew?

I was happily mowing away when I first noticed the smoke. I thought for a minute that fog was rolling in, but no such luck. In seconds, there was enough smoke for me an a squad of friends to be able to invade Normandy, sight unseen. Now I may not exactly be Mr. G00dwrench, but I know this isn't a good thing.

Of couse I am as far away from where I keep the tractor as I possibly can be and still be on my own property. I shut off the mowing deck and try to make a last gasp drive to avoid having to push several hundred pounds of soon to be lawn ornament to what may be it's final resting place. I made it half way. There was this rumbling sound, then a crash of internal engine parts and then silence. He's dead Jim.

I didn't call 911 or even try CPR. Sometimes you just know, you know? So I turned off the key and got off and began to push. It must have been quite the site, me and the great dead mechanical beast emerging from the fog like some bad Japanese m0nster movie gone horribly awry, and to top it off, I had to finish mowing the rest fo the yard by hand. Sigh.... Will the suffering never end?

There isn't going to be a service. Disposal of the remains are still problematic. What does one do with tractor that no longer tracks? It's too big and heavy for the trash man. Too big and ugly to just keep in the yard.

Maybe someone will just come and take it away? For sale, dead used beast. Has grass catcher attachment and snow blower. Would work well except it is totally and unrecoverably dead. Make an offer. Please????

Happy Monday all.

Later

Ron

Previous - Next

Top