Tree Stooges
2003-12-15

My free range Christmas Tree apparently does not like living a life of kept leisure. It tried to make a break for it this morning after I left for work. I found it without out a stand with it's angel-less head up against the window. Apparently the only thing between it and escape was that it couldn't figure out how to open the window. Humans 1 tree 0. There were needles, ornaments and lights everywhere, what a mess.

If I had any brains I would have waited for support, but now, I'm brave, and strong and stupid, I can win this battle between nature and I. UGh... It took two different stands, a saw, two pieces of rope, numerous cuts and scrapes too numerous to mentions and needles, EVERYWHERE!!! but like Saddam, it finally submitted quietly.

I'm not sure who really won though. I itch all over, I just pulled pine gunk out of my ear, and my sweater feels like inverted porcupine skin. UGH... Oh and during the breakout, the tree apparently threatened puppy and literally scared the crap out of him. This was how I started my lunch today, cleaning dog crap off the rug. You envy me, don't deny it.... My life is an adventure.

I think next year I'll buy a tame tree from a lot, or perhaps one of those green brushes on a stick. It would make life so much easier. For now, I remain tramatized and tired and prickly.

On a good front, my boat cushiions are ready so I'm going to pick them up today YEA!!!! I think I'll bring the matress in for a quote and perhaps even take a load of junk paneling to the YC dumpster. Then I will celebrate with a glass of merlot. Care to join me? I'll buy the first round... All you have to do is maybe extract a pine needle or two from my back...

Later

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