Not exactly Marcus Welby
2003-04-18

Think of the worst office visit you've ever had and then double it and you still aren't close. That was my day yesterday. Nice... I left early, hit Mass unemployment for a bunch of information on job web sites and hit the lab to pick up my drugs. Things were going pretty well, it was a nice day, life was if not good, at least tolerable.

I had time to kill before the doctors appointment so I had a very nice lunch of veal sausage and rabe over risotto and a couple of glasses of pinot. All was right with the world. My state income taxes even came in. Wooooo... Funny how things can go downhill so fast.

I get to the office early, sign in and promptly get into an argument with the plump mentally challenged receptionist. She says, you aren't a patient here you don't have a file. Well I definately am a patient, do have a file, but advise her that it doesn't matter because I am here for a visit from the doctors other place, not a regular office visit. She looks at me like I just said hair jell was being banned because it causes herpes.

She then proceeds to tell me she has no idea what I am talking about and crosses my name off the list. Folks this appointment was made by the doctors own staffover a week ago. They told me when to be there and I took a bunch of time out of work to comply. I started to get pissed off in a royal way. I do not like being crossed out by teeny-twits.

I snagged one of the nurses and bypassed the idiot and explained the situation. The nurse says well why didn't you mention the other place by name. I told her I did, several times but that Hortense over here seems to be clueless. She goes in to talk to the doctor who says she doesn;t see lab patients during regular office hours (well this is a lie, I've done this before). She also says that if I want a regular office visit (that I have to pay for) fine if not, she won't see me.

Well the deal is they pay me for taking this stuff that may or may not be experimental drugs and may or may not be helping and could in rare cases kill me. I do not pay them for this privlige.

I call the lab office and explain. She says she will call me back so I wait. A few minutes later I am told it is all a mistake and that they will see me, no charge and to have a seat and I'll be called ASAP. So I sit and wait... I read a whole Smithstonian Magazine. I start on Sports Illustrated. Another hour and a half passes, I go to the desk to see how much longer the wait is and am told why are you still here? Um, because the other office told me to have a seat and wait? Duh..

Well bubblehead goes to look for the doctor, she is busy. I wait some more. Finally she calls me... Yeaaaa and tells me the doctor will see me after all the other patients have left, that there are appointents until after 6:00 scheduled and she is running 40 minutes late so far.

Well I have some patience, but not enough to spend 4 hours waiting for a five minute exam. It certainly isn't worth the $25 dollars per visit I am paid so I told her no thanks and went home. I left a message on the labs answering machine and explained the situation in detail and the last line was, so... what do you want me to do?

Then in order to prevent me from killing somebody, I went home, crashed out on the couch for an hour and regrouped. I am not wanted for homicide this morning so I guess it woeked.

We'll see how it all plays out, but this is the last time I take time off for them. If they want to drop me, fine, send me the check, but I have drugs for a month and by the end of that, summer will almost be here. One way or another I'll survive. And hey isn't today Friday? Screw um.

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