Incoming!!!!!!
2002-12-17

I learned there was no Santa Claus at a fairly early age. I was pretty adept at sneaking around after the parents went to bed, scoping out the goodies and then getting back to bed undetected, well except for the time I accidently launched a plastic grenade from my Johhny 7 and took out a lamp in the colateral damage. They never could figure out why I didn't jump up at first light like the other siblings. There just wasnt the need you know? Been there done that...

Ahh it was a simpler time when all the kids had plastic weapons and fights were resolved with words or if it was really serious, fists. Now, we are oh so politically correct, plastic guns are taboo and kids shoot themsleves with real guns on a regular basis. That's progress I guess.

My parents were totally thrilled when I because old enough to baby sit the rest of the clan on Christmas eve. I had five younger brothers and sisters and ruled with an iron fist. I guess I was thirteen. Oh the power... My folks would go to midnight mass and I'd put together all the other kids presents. Dad wasn't so mechanically inclined and couldn't put together a lamp and lightbulb without a diagram. I however believed (and still do) that instructions were for sissys and at the very least the avenue of last resort.

By the time they got back I'd have eveything done and arranged, Santa's cookies would have been eaten and a Wonderful Life would have faded into the test pattern. Yes kiddies, TV did actually use to shut down for the night back in the old days of black and white.

There was a test on the radio for stress and depression yesterday, I got most of the questions right... I'm attributing it to the stress of the holidays and impending job loss. I can't afford to be depressed. Even the thought of it is just, well... depressing.

Newsflash, people in New England will turn into complete idiots on the highway at the mere sight of a snowflake. That is all...

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