Mommy the mall Santa ate my brains
2002-12-10

My brains are mush this morning. I blame it on the mall sucking out all my intelligence. I only went there to buy one thing, a bracelet I saw on sale in the Sunday paper. Can the mall work that quickly in reducing intelligence? Well this is not an ordinary mall, it also has the worlds only mall Walmart. It is super capable of dasterdly deeds, be afraid, be VERY afraid.

Well after having my brains removed I decided that I might as well continue to shop. What the hell was I thinking, but onward I went. I am not a person who shops in boutiques or quaint little places crammed with crap. No I headed out to BJs Wholesale club and grabbed a flatbed dolly and started the hunt.

I bought stuff. I saw a DVD pack of all John Travoltas movies. I hate John Ttavolta so I bought that. I also was required to buy a DVD player since we don't have one. Oh yeah I also bought a 32" TV with a box large enough for a family of 5 to live in. I'm renting it out for $200 a month. Good deal huh?

I asked some kindly soul to help me load the TV on my cart, checked out and than wondered how in the world I was going to get this thing in the truck. I asked an employee. They looked at me like, well like I had just come from the mall. Hmmm, you could hear them almost thinking, what can we do to make this guy wait as long as possible. Finally some kid with mega-zits and a squeeky voice provided at least some assistance. I unloaded myself.

Well I got the TV installed and the giant almost dead console one into the spare room. I wrapped my gifts and put them under the tree and left for ten minutes. When I came back I found that puppy was eating John Travolta. Now I can understand his point, I'm a little queezy having him in the house too, but it is a gift damn it. Puppy got yelled at, I had to rewrap, and wine was in order, two glasses.

I could almost feel the brain cells coming back and as they did, they were screaming in their little brain cell voices... what the hell did you do. Sigh... What did I do...

M.E. didn't get home from a party she went to until 9:00 and she saw the new TV through the front window. It kind of stands out. She also saw the presents... Now she is stressing because she has no clue as to what to get me. Hmmm, neither do I, I guess. Boat stuff? A job? Peace on Earth?

Nothing would be fine.

Happy Tuesday all, and if somebody in a fur lined suit says Ho Ho Ho he is probably a pimp.

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