Why
2002-09-05

I was just reading an entry of a lady who was a historian and absolutely loved her job. It was something she wanted to do ever since she was a kid and she looks forward to just about every day.

I never dreamed of being an Engineer. it was one of those things that got in the way while life was happening around me. As a child I dreamed of airplanes and ships, of travelling the world. I read the story of Robin Lee Graham in my fathers National Geographics in his quest to become the youngest person to sail solo around the world, He found confidence and love and even a little fame. I knew some day that would be me.

Of course back then I didn't know anybody who sailed, but on Sundays, we drive by the ocean or to the little harbors and look. When you were on the lower side of the economic scale with six kids in the family, looking from the old station wagon was as close as it got.

I saved all my money and bought a little wooden row boat and played for hours on the river next to the house. When I learned to drive, I found my peace sitting by the waters of the bay. It was where I went when both my brother and dad died too young.

The plan after high school was simple. Not engineering, no, the Navy and adventure were on the docket. Then, who knows.... But I flunked the physical, flat feet, who knew? I was out of work and got the offer to be paid to go to school and learn drafting. So I did... and took a job in the submarine factory soon after graduation. It was there I got my fist real taste of sailing. A friend had a boat, I was invited. It was better than I could have imagined. You and nature, for better or worse. I learned fast and turned out to be good at it. It calmed me in the worst of times and kept me sane more than once. I got the Engineering degree nights (no summers please) to make more money and endulge in my passion. The job I had then was high pressured, but fun. Life was looking up.

I got into the competitive side of sailing bad. I went through several boats, always bigger and faster. Testing myself against the best competiton. One year I beat they guy who tought me to sail, the next year we won almost everything we entered. We beat Kenny Read who is now sailing Dennis Conners boat in the America's Cup. We beat Dennis once that year too, and even won a National Championship in our class. It was satisfying, but not what I dreamed of. The politics and money of racing at that level took their toll and sailing was losing it's luster... or so it seemed, but it wasn't the sailing that had changed, it was me. How I looked at it. Instead of nature and I, there were now too many factors involved, ruining the love affair.

So taking a page from Thoreau, I simplified... bought a cruisey but still fast boat, backed way off on the racing and found my love was still there.

Now, I'm working in a dying job that bores me to tears. I have the boat I've always dreamed of and she is fast and sound. There just isn't a way to make to make enough money sailing locally to pay the bills so back into the grind I go. Waiting for those few hours of escape. Eventually I'll find a way out.

Some day, down in the islands, if you see a slightly beat up guy offering day sails on a shiny well cared for boat, offering 4 hours of sailing with a big smile and rum punches to passingers of cruise ships or guests of resorts, stop by and say Hi. It just might be somebody you know.

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