Snow job
2002-02-11

Wow, it is snowing like hell outside. Whats up with that? There was nothing in the forecast... I think that would be a great job, weatherman. To be able to be wrong so consistantly and still keep your job.

I decided ths weekend that I think I'm going to look around for something else. I'm just not happy at this job. Boredome is not a good thing. There are little things I could be doing now, but I'm just not into it. Maybe it is me, but I don't think so. The track record for this spot has been pretty poor.

I've been sort of observing myself in social settings the last bunch of days and I find that without a drink or two I'm more thoughtful about what I am going to say, less spontanious. I also am lots more quiet. I guess I nomally have lots of filters and walls. I suppose it is to be expected really when you look back on the wreckage that is included in my past.

We were talking last night about the old days. The camping trips we all use to go on and the roadies that Brian and I use to pull. Hell lots of nights we wouldn't even start till after midnight and we ended up where we ended up. We partyed our brains out and we never got into trouble, never were a hazard on the highways (well at least when I was driving), always got home safe. Some people wouldn't drive with us, but the people who did were always amazed. How can these guys function so well in the condition they should be in. I was never a Yahoo, never had the need to go 90 miles an hour after a few drinks or a J or several. I guess that helped.

The gang was talking about the old high times and they all talked like it was present tense. I know it has been well over 10 years for me. It just didn't do it for me any more. Ken still does on a regular basis, Steve on occasion, but Bri and I both don't. At least I don't think he does. I don't see him enough any more to be sure. I don't think when we get together we realize how much some of us have changed, and not just physically. I know I'm a different person now. They'll never see it, because they don't think to look. It is easier to fit the new picture into the old frame. Then you don't have to make judgements on the changes.

We talked last night about all going on vacation together. Everybody said yes. I honestly don't think it will happen. Oh probably Ken and Joyce, me and M.E and Lobsterman and Gayle maybe, but it won't go farther than that. I hope I wrong but I'm pretty sure I'm not. Sad....

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