Gray and blue
2002-01-30

It's wet and grey and depressing out. I guess it is warm for January, but does it really matter? The trees look so lifeless. I guess you just have to trust, they'll come alive in the spring.

I'm feeling like the weather today. If I were a color right now it would be gray. "You know grays my favorite color. I felt so symbolic yesterday. If I knew Picasso, I'd buy my self a gray guitar and play" Gray is NOT my favorite color.

So, why am I like this? Who the hell knows. Work is boring. Maybe that is part of it. I want it to be spring. I'm sure that is a bunch more of it. I wish I were rich. That would help. Gee, I don't want too much do I? How about adding having the Patriots win the Superbowl?

I'm going out to dinner with some people I use to work with tomorrow. That may be some of this too. I never really wanted to work for this company. Too unstable, too much of a step back. But one of my best friends worked was a VP. He was best man at my wedding. That was cool. So, they begged and pleaded, wined and dined. They were convinced they needed me. Eventually I was convinced too. They finally made me an offer I said yes too. The place was a real dump,totally unorganized. The work was interesting. I got to redesign the whole place. Built a cafeteria, new offices, whole new plant layout. Combined 3 plants into one. Pretty cool.. And to top it all off, I even got this piece of shit company ISO certified.

Then I got the call. They couldn't afford to pay me any more. The people who conviced me to go there were very appologetic. Appologies do not pay the bills. I definately felt used. I did not complain or fight. Thats not my style. I even helped my assistant with a problem as I was packing my stuff. People in the plant were shocked. the head guy (the owners son) was out skiing the day it happened. He doesn't have the nerve to face people he decides to let go so he is always absent those days. He also tried to cancel Christmas once. The Hispanics in the factory nearly strung him up. I guess I am upset my "friend" didn't fight harder. I would have. Now he wants help with the company CAD system. I'm the only one who knows how to run it. Hmm, maybe a big fat consultant fee might be a good idea? Until then I'm blowing him off.

So I'm where I'm at now. and I'm going to dinner with people that I don't feel the same way about any more. I hope the food is good.

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