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2008-06-06

It's dark and I'm home alone and for some reason I ended up here. I was just looking thru some of my old notes, at all the old friends some around and some who are no longer here. Did they give up, or just move on... I have no idea... Life changes, people move on and yet I'm still around. Weird.... MY new site on wordpress is nice, I can always get in, I can post pictures but rarely do... It's easy to use, I don't have to pay. I like there. Here use to be home though, for a long, long, long time. There are so many wonderful folks I never would have known, who'd lives I never would have shared without this place. Too bad it kind of all went to hell for a while. I guess someplace like this really isn't a place. It's plastic, not in the stuff that toys are made of sense, but plastic in the real meaning of the work, flexible, changing, moving. I guess when you care for people and they go away, that might not be a good thing, but hey life and people and things change. That is the way it is. If nothing changed things wouldn't get better right? I prefer to thing the ones who left, left because they didn't need this any more. It might be a lie, but I can live with that. Some folks have followed me to the new place. I thank them for that. I have a hard time letting go to things and people that are special so the ones who are still around have a special place in my heart. I'm not going to list you for fear that someone be inadvertently left out. You know who you are and that you are appreciated even if I don't tell you often enough. Thanks.. It's the ones who are gone that make me wonder the most though... My April, I don't know how I found you or why you had interest in an old broken down sailor dude like me. I watched you grow up with more problems then a kid ever should have and yet you turned out to be a wonderful person. Did the wedding happen yet? Man I hope you are so happy.. Moo, are things better at home? He knows your are special, you just need to know that too. Robin... well, I meant what I said and always will... Laura, is life better? It should be... Boo, I don't know what to say here. God there are so many of these I could be up all night. Just because you aren't here doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you right now... You were all a piece of my life. Thank you. I guess some things aren't meant to be, and life moves on even when we hope it doesn't some time. I hope anybody who stumbles on this place remembers the good times. The new place gets less attention, from me and from the world. I'm not sure that is better, but it is what is is. I've got some good people there. Some from here, some from other places, but all some of the best people I know. One is going to be famous, I knew that the day we met. She is just so special, a blind person could have figured that out. We have a thing, when we need each other it just works out, we're there. I have a story like for her next book. After this one becomes a best seller. My sailor friends. Kindred spirits, nice... You understand my heart. we'll always share something most will never know. A true bond with the world. That works. More than one write the hell around me. God I wish I had your talent. I'm like a blind squirrel here. Sometimes I get a nut. Folks like Golf and the rest make my beast seem like tripe. One builds stuff, nice stuff, he has the talent in his hands. Some just care. One of my first reads is a young mom who just doesn't have any clue how awesome she is. someday she'll find out from the deeds of her daughter. Some want to change the world and want it to stay the way it is, except for maybe that patch of vines on the side of their hill. I don't know how to end this entry except to tell you that no matter what happens from now on in your life, know you made a difference in somebody's day. Can you really ask for more than that? I hope in some small way I did too...

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